A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married.
She put an ad in the local paper that read: “HUSBAND WANTED.Must be in my age group must not run around on me, must not beat me, and must still be good in bed!
All applicants must apply in person.On the second day of the ad she heard the doorbell ring. There sat a man in a wheelchair.
He had no arms or legs. She asked sardonically,“You are not expecting me to consider you, are you?? Just look at youyou have no legs!
The old man smiled. “Therefore, no chance to run around on you!” The old lady snorted, “You have no arms either!”
“Therefore no chance tobeat you. Still good in bed?” she asked. The old man smirked and said, “I rang the doorbell didn’t I?”
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An American, a Japanese, and a Jamaican were sitting naked in the sauna.Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The American presses hisforearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly.“That’s my pager,”
he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lifts his palm to his ear.When he finishes he explains,
“That’s my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”
The Jamaican, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone,decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepsOut of the sauna and goes to the toilet.
He returns with a piece of toilet paperhanging from his butt.The others raised their eyebrows and said, “Wow! What’s that?”
“I’m getting a Fax,” he explains.
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Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?
A. In case you miss.
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HAHAHA!!
